Tuesday, December 20, 2011

Insert Witty Title Here

Current weight: 345

Yesterday I turned 34.
Now if you're all doing the math with me, that means I have exactly 1 year to reach this ridiculous goal.
Okay, not ridiculous, more...crazy? Unachievable?

Eh, possibly.
But remember that talk about setting shorter goals? Yeah, that's what I've learned about myself. I'm talking EVERY DAY SETTING A GOAL.
Even if it's the same goal over and over and over...well, you get the drift.

So my goal for TODAY - eating 1 serving of anything - including my b-day cake (got it from DQ - it's tradition - bite me - should take 100 years to finish the darn thing). Also, to stick to my goals below...

My goal for this WEEK - being "good" with food until Xmas; working out DAILY; drinking water/Crystal Light; avoiding anything with caffeine (coffee, Starbucks Peppermint Mocha, diet soda); avoiding anything with carbonation.

My favorite diet thing of the day?
Cuties Oranges. I think they're oranges. Anyway, they're the size of a hacky-sack ball, easy-peasy to peel, they DO have seeds, tho (figured that one out the hard way), but they're WAY tasty. And a great snack to snag for work or school or whatever. :)

So that's me for the week, folks. 96.4lbs to go...argh.

Monday, December 12, 2011

One week from today.

One week from today I turn 34.
I admit right here and right now that I suck.
I had a plan, I followed the plan, minor setbacks and I lost the plan.

All the followers here of 100x35, I apologize.
But I'm not going to dwell.
I admitted my suckiness and now I'm going to attempt to move on.

My current weight: 348.6
Yes, I've gained it all back. I feel vaguely like sausage again in my own clothes.
But again, I'm going to attempt not to dwell.

I think that when our insurance put a kibosh on our IVF attempt, my psyche got beat to crap, so I just gave up. Now I need to find small goals - attainable ones in shorter time-frames that have nothing to do with the ability for myself to bear kids. It's hard to not be wrapped around something I was so intensely wrapped around for so long. Years, really.

Now my long-term goal is to feel better in the morning when I get up; to not have aches and pains usually earned by people 20+ years my senior; to look better in my clothes; to stop feeling like such a fat-ass.

Short term is the end of the month - a holiday party where I may wear a pretty dress.
Next month, I want to show my mom some improvement in my health and some improvement in my looks, too. Hell, to be completely honest, it's not about her - it's about getting thru the holidays w/out overeating, while at the same time loosing weight and celebrating with a well-earned meal at Melting Pot. What can I say? Even while loosing weight, I'm food motivated. I can't say that's a horribly bad thing.

Anyway, help me by sticking by me, readers. I'm going to try to keep my promise - I have 373 days to lose 100 lbs (isn't Google amazing?). Wish me luck!

Saturday, October 8, 2011

Wow, been awhile...

Okay, so..hmmm.
I've been having a lot of thoughts over the past few weeks.

I've lost the love of me. I think that's why I'm having so many problems getting into the swing of things again. I'm maintaining most of the weightloss I've achieved, but I've been unwilling...well, not unwilling..more...unwanting...to continue with this whole thing. I'm ashamed to admit it to you guys, much less to myself.

Having said that, though, I know I have to continue. I believe part of my reticence is with our elliptical - I'm still not sure I like it. I think there is a solution to this, something I'm going to work on and I'll tell you folks later if I can get it rigged, but yeah.

So, anyway, I'm still here...there are some things I need to work out in my own head...but I hope to post again soon. 


Wednesday, September 14, 2011

Elliptical of EVIL

19 minutes
-60 minutes
- 41 minutes

Oh, so not doing 41 minutes between now and tomorrow - BUT! - I will try to get in another 3 minutes, which is what I'm up to on this horrid machine. HOWEVER - I'm also "getting over it" faster than I was - it took me 10 minutes of heavy breathing and sweating (god I WISH it was sex) before I felt "normal" again. After my 3 minute session (3 minutes last night and 2.5 minutes the night before - I'm gettin' betta!) this morning (god, 5am shouldn't exist!!) it only took me about 6 minutes to get over it. -.-

This is going to be  a wayyyyy slower process than I thought, BUT I will get there!
Or it'll kill me.
Guess which thought is winning at the moment?

Hope you guys can stick by me through this....

Sunday, September 11, 2011

Saturday, September 10, 2011

A new goal to motivate me...

I needed it - a goal that is.

So the elliptical is a torture device.
After only 2.5 minutes I'm breathing heavily and my thighs are burning.
But it gave me a couple thoughts.
The first is that "wow, you are SOOOO not in shape! omg, woman!"
but the second was my goal!

Starting now, my goal is to do 60 minutes/week on this thing. Until I can get used to it. And to graddddddualllllyyyy increase my resistence.

Before I explain, this is my work so far -

5.8 minutes
-60 minutes
-54.2 minutes

The blue number is what I've done so far for the "week".
The red number is what I've got left to do.
This will be changed as I update my blog.

And a 3rd thought - it makes my damn achy joints go quiet. w00t!

Eating? Yeah, not doing so well - but like I keep saying, every moment is a moment that's available for change! 
So even though I had baked ravioli at Fazoli's today, I wasn't a fan so I only ate 1/3rd of it - it's something I'm trying to teach myself: don't eat it if you don't like it or are satisfied.

Satisfy me, people!

Friday, September 9, 2011

Oh this is definitely going to be a love-hate relationship

The elliptical is in!
I was on it for 50 seconds last night.
2.5 minutes today.
I think I may die.

I got more exercise in that 2.5 minutes than I have in the entire group of days I was on the bike.

Love - it makes my heart beat and makes me SWEAT.

Hate - even on "no" resistance (well, resistance 1) it's going to take a bit to get used to it.

Tonight, I'll attempt to add to my overall elliptical log.

But I am not too proud to say I'm afraid of that fecker. Omg.

Sweat on!!