Hi everyone. My name is Patricia Lynn Tefer Wisebaker and I am morbidly obese.
Well, let's not start there. I'm fat. Not phat - pretty happy and tasty - but fat - ferociously adverse tonnage. Yes, I realize I sound silly but I tend to use humor to temper my anger and frustration with just about everything I deal with.
Anyway, fat. Yes, I am. Most people know this and have come to accept that that's the way I am - always have been. If you look at pics of me as a kid, I've got the thighs, even though I wasn't yet "fat". I have always been tall.
Currently I stand at 6 ft tall and 350+ lbs. I'll update this later as I'm still trying to come to terms with all of this "truth" shit.
Oh, I swear, just so you know.
On to the point of this blog - I need to lose weight. Duh, I know, but it's become a critical-mass kind of situation. Here's some more truth - I'm infertile. Well, as good as. Doctor doesn't think it's my weight *primarily* but it is possible that my weight is a contributing factor.
I'm also on the road to a great big case of diabetes, heart disease, cholesterol issues....shewt, you name it I'm aiming for the experience.
I don't really WANT to do that, though.
Despite what the public thinks, fat people don't WANT to be fat. We didn't become fat overnight - it happens gradually. You're going along one day at a time then all the sudden BAM you're fat! So why does the public expect that we're going to go thin instantly by just doing diet and exercise? Why do people think that shoving nutrition advice down our throats is going to make us WANT to be healthier?
Boys n' girls, as a fat person speaking to you guys - I know for fucking SURE that it's a matter of fighting against ourselves - so do NOT be all pissed when we finally admit we have a problem! Do NOT act like we're stupid because, speaking personally, I'M NOT. I KNOW what I should be doing, I KNOW what I need to do.
So why not do it?
That's a good question. A very good question.
Like I said, it's a fight, daily against my own self. I often feel like I'm an alien in my own body - how did I gain all this weight? How did I get bigger? I don't know that, either.
But now I have a goal and so, the point of this blog - 100 by 35.
I'm 33 years, 5 months and some days old.
I have set a goal for myself. The goal is this - to lose 100lbs by the time I turn 35 in December of 2012.
This blog is the first step in the journey - I'm a writer, it's time to write all this shit down.
So, since I've assailed your eyes for long enough, that's enough for today. Wish me luck people - the exercising starts tomorrow!
"I know what I need to do" applies to a lot more than exercise. I totally hear you on the 'how to stay motivated'. And baby, you don't have to be a fat person to need the exercise routine. The health problems come to all of us, no matter the height, weight or size. I admire your determination to get up early. "Don't 'beat yourself up if you screw up" one day, just start again the next day.... You got that right. I'll check back in and see how you are doing.
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