Just the facts, folks.

I know lately I've been incognito.
A few reasons for this...well, here's the rundown.

4 weeks (approx) ago, I got 2 moles removed from my back. Biopsy results were that they are pre-cancerous. That is not sad to me because it's pretty much what I expected. Dr says that there are 3 more he's going to be "watching". Yay.

2 days after the removal of the moles, my period came. Sorry dudes that read this, but I haveta talk about it (I may have before so I apologize for that, too, in advance. I've taken the policy to not read what I've written before if I can avoid it because it depresses me). I had cramps like WOAH. I'm not sure what is/was going on - the weightloss making my body react differently? I don't know. What I do know is that my entire puberty until now I rarely had cramps. This time, I had the in SPADES. -.- Not a happy camper this made Trisha.

So I put off the exercising because of these two events.

Things finally calmed down and while I was doing alright, my back was giving me some problems. You see, I'm allergic to most medical adhesives. We did find a bandaid that did end up working - Top Care, if you're interested - for a full week. Then the night before the stitches were to be removed, Mike removed some skin along with the bandaid. OW. Suddenly had a 5 inch chemical burn across my lower back (it seems my body again said HOLD IT when I had the bandaids on for exactly a full week - Thursday to Thursday - then that night decided it couldn't take them anymore).

As the OW was there, that was fine - the next morning my stitches were removed. However, the infection continued and, well, avoiding all the gross details I'm FINALLY healed up!

This morning I once again resumed the exercising (tho this time I only made it 15 minutes instead of my standard 20 - I'm aiming to exercise again tonight).


But it's been a bad few days.


This upcoming weekend we have a wedding to attend - remember that black dress I wanted to wear? The one with the turquoise and white number? Yeah...no. I tried it on Saturday night and that was the very first time in my entire life I cried BECAUSE of my weight. BECAUSE of my body shape. As you can all imagine this was upsetting to Michael - he's such a wonderful husband and despite the fact he's married to the Great White Whale, he still loves me and thinks me beautiful.


Saturday night, though, despite the great leaps I've made in personal self-esteem, I folded.
I'm not proud of it. I am angry about it, still; I am still still STILL trying to accept myself - accept my body and all it's weird quirks.


And that's mostly the reason I've once again began this climb towards health once again.


Didn't I tell you all it was cyclical?


Welcome to the next round of the cycle. Enjoy.